exam results was horribly bad.
really unexpected.
it was the first time that i even shed a tear for exams.
so imagine how bad it is that it affected me so much.

perhaps i didn't put in enough effort,
and i should put the blame on no one but myself.
when i saw the results,
many thoughts went through my mind.
what happened?
should i change course like i originally planned to?
should i just repeat another year by changing to another course in another school?

i told my brother about it,
and he was encouraging me at least.
he told me it's not the time to think what went wrong,
but to move forward and do well next sem.

i don't know if it's possible,
but i hope i will try to make it possible at least.
moving forward has never been my forte anyway.

i don't wanna be the only one in the family that can't make it to local uni.
it has always been my dream,
and only path to enter a local uni.
my parents pinning hopes on me,
and my dad has said before,
"all my kids must make it to local uni. it proves that they are smart."
and my sister and brother did it.

i'm glad you did pretty well,
even though you claimed it was bad.
i wouldn't lie you made me even more down,
but i know you were trying your best to cheer me up.
thanks dear.

gosh i hate this sem.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.

MELVIN; 8:06 AM