i don't know why it's happening again.
i'm starting to get emo,
and miss you so much.

i attempted talking to you,
but you were busy.

perhaps i should really try to forget,
and try to let go.
i just kept giving myself the same excuse,
that i can't forget you.
and in the process i end up hurting people.
it's not fair to me,
and it isn't fair to the rest too.

it's easy for everyone else to say, "give up, let go."
but no, it isn't.
it's tough at hell.
why must it be me?
why must it be me going through all these and not someone else?

"give yourself more time"
i heard that a thousand times,
and it seems to me that it doesn't work.
perhaps i'm just lying to myself all long.
i tell myself that i don't love you anymore,
and i don't miss you.
but deep inside me i know i still do, alot.

i wonder if you still think of me,
or am i long forgotten?
each time i see you online,
i really hoped you would come talk to me.
but it never did happen.
and i know after you read this,
you wouldn't either.
it's just you,
i understand.

you are that special someone.
the someone that i had hoped for.
i'm so tired of this.
i really just want to forget about everything.
but i'm just hanging on,
to something that i know wouldn't happen anymore.

i like it when you look into my eyes and say 'i love you'
i like it when you hug me to sleep.
i like it when you hold my hands so tightly.
i like it when you get jealous.
i like it when you do those small little things just to make me happy.
i like it when we go shopping at mustafa.
i like it when we went to t3 for the very first time.
i like it when i get mad and you will pacify me.

i want you to clear things up with me.
tell me if you do love me still,
or if you don't anymore.
i just need to know.
perhaps after that then i would know what i should do exactly.
please,
do me a favour will you?

sigh.




i miss you.
i love you.
fuck fuck fuck.

MELVIN; 11:57 PM