damn.
i'm so demoralised and fucking disappointed.

i just got to know my english oral marks today.
got a freaking 26/40,
all because i just passed the picture.
i was utterly disappointed with myself.
never have i done so badly for orals..
as usual, i rant on and on about it.

i was seriously so so sad.
i had expected myself to at least get a distinction grade.
sigh..
my english seems to be getting worse.
yes, i could be too complacent.
but the stupid picture discription?!
i said so much relevant stuffs,
and yet she just passed me.

maybe i'm just bad at english,
maybe i'm just not in the mood that day.
i really got no idea.

i'm trying to learn from all these lessons.
but each time i fail something that's got to do with english,
i get extremely despondent,
since i have always been doing it well.

half-heartened,
i wasn't able to concentrate for the rest of the lessons.
(apparently english was the first 2 periods)
everywhere i go,
i feel irritated.
i really don't know what's the matter with me.
i tell myself,
'Melvin, it's just a damn prelims oral. It's over. Life goes on!'
but this doesn't seem to really work..

anyway,
i was informed that we would have a physics and chem mock nxt week.
how great!
like i'm not busy enough.
FUCK THE TESTS!
FUCK THE SCHOOL
FUCK EVERY SINGLE SHIT!

This Thurs - E Maths & Chem test
This Fri - SS test; A Maths 1 Mock Exam
Next Mon - Chem Mock Exam
Next Tues - Physics Mock Exam
Next Wed - Physics Topical Test
Next Fri - A Maths 2 Mock Exam
Next Next Tues - Commencing of prelims, SS paper.

i really have no idea how am i gonna fork out time studying for SS.
i wanna do well for prelims,
but with this busy schedule,
i'm unable to even touch SS.
this is so stupid!

all the tests are like redundant.
shouldn't the school allow us time to study for prelims instead?
i really wonder if i can even make it to first 1 month.

SOMEONE PLEASE JUST ASSASSINATE ME!

MELVIN; 10:13 PM